I was told that a happy marriage is a fairytale and I was accused in beliving in fairytales...
First of all, I don't believe that a fairytale wedding equals a fairytale marriage, but what's wrong with wanting happiness and believing there's someone for you?
Some folks will have you believe that women can be faithful beings, but men just don't have it in em. I don't believe that (though some guys make it very hard for the rest of you). Nor do I believe that all women are innocent and faithfully sitting at home waiting on their man. Nuh uh. I ain't buying it!
Idano. I still believe in happily ever after with a little work dispersed here and there. It ain't easy, but nothing worth having is, is it?
Do you believe in the fairytale?
I think it depends on your individual definition of "fairytale" "happiness" and "marriage." For some, your personal definition might sound like a fairytale, OR it may not sound happy (by their personal definition).
ReplyDeleteAs long as the two people IN the marriage can agree on the definitions, they will have whatever they desire IF they are willing to do the work to get it and maintain it, What other people CALL IT (happy, fairytale, etc) is inconsequential.
Im still a believer in idea of a fairytale wedding and marriage... Just seems like theres a shortage on qualifying recipients... Im still making plans on my Perfectly Pink Wedding, in hopes that I'll have it before I die... and if the right man never shows.....well, I may be forced to throw the biggest Perfectly Passioned Pink Reception in honor of myself...
ReplyDeleteI believe in a happy marriage. My parents have been married for 38 years. Yep, real mom and dad.
ReplyDeleteWill I have a happy marriage one day? I would like to think so, but times sure are different now than when my parents were married.
And by Happy I'm not referring to no arguments or disagreements. I agree with Lusindah, it depends on your definition of happiness.
I love this page design! I can read everything! Very pretty!!
I shole nuff do believe. If two people are good for one another...why not spend the rest of your lives together. And there are many men out there that have no problem with monogamy. Some men choose to think with the wrong head and feel that she won't know so it can't hurt.
ReplyDeleteWhat it all boils down to is two people really wanting to be together and really wanting for their relationship to work.
I don't believe necessarily that a happy marriage = fairytale....
ReplyDeleteI just don't believe in either one as they pertain to me.
ReplyDelete
My parents celebrate 39 years this year. It hasn't always been perfect, but I don't think it gets much better.
ReplyDeleteIts not a fairytale. Don't buy that lie, Sis. Love is real. People want to tell that to make it seem like it can't really happen, that a man and woman can't have a loving, faithful marriage. So yes, I believe in marriage, I believe in love. I also believe many people don't fully understand what love is supposed to be.
There is a shortage of (in my case) men who believe in marriage. Too many have either been hurt by some trifling female, or are just content to hit it and quit it. They don't realize until its too late how incredibly valuable it is to have somebody who deeply cares about you and loves you. As they get older, as they hit health scares and losses, they are going to wish they had somebody by their side, somebody who has already proven their love for them. I know too many who are there now. They were messing around when they should have been settling down, and now they finding it rough out there for a pimp with too many miles on him.
Deedles - I totally 100 % do believe in fairytales, happily ever after, and most importantly in LOVE ! ! !
ReplyDeleteI just believe that simple put, people waste their time trying to turn a frog into a prince or princess instead of only dealing with people who you know you have a good shot at something solid with. I'm sorry, but some people are broken, and nothing another person can do, not matter how much love and understanding, can fix it. Those are the people that are not going to get their happily ever after, the ones to busy fixing someone.
I believe it's what you make off it.
ReplyDeleteNo marriage is perfect nor will there ever be one. If you two are happy with each other, than everything will be alright.
NO I DON'T BELIEVE IN FAIRY TALES BUT THERE IS SOME GUYS WHO KNOW WHAT FAITHFULNESS IS....NOT MANY BUT THEY OUT THERE...JUST LIKE THERE ARE FEMALES OUT THERE WHO CHEAT....
ReplyDeleteMy parents have also been married for 38 years... I know it's not an easy fairytale... but it is a fairytale. I believe.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy in my marraige. But I don't really know what the fairytale concept is about. If its the shit seen in movies, or in novels, hell no that shit aint true.
ReplyDeleteI think most people who say what you said here are afraid to take chances. Either that, or they create excuses for failure bfore even trying.
I knew it was not a fairy tale just by looking at my parents...You have to be ready for it because its hard work. After the wedding real life begins and sadly alot of people wake up and realize that its not what they had dreamed of. People get so caught up in the dream wedding and the dress and honeymoon and they never really thinks about what life will be like after they say i do...
ReplyDeleteYou and your partner have to be willing and ready to be there for each other and support personal endeavors, finances and raise the children equally and be on the same page etc... I can tell you now, if someone is not doing their part its bound to fail. Take it from me, i know this..
Amen!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Rippa.
ReplyDeleteSomeone get the oxygen ready, Rippa might faint when he reads that.
He'll be alright...
ReplyDeleteLOL..well, when Rippa is right, he is right on point. Gotta give it to him.
ReplyDeleteI believe that the "Fairytale" depends on the CHARACTERS playing the roles. First of all, although it's not fair, MOST men will receive "CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS" off jump because of OTHER men who have played roles in women's lives (translation: if all a woman has seen is a NEGATIVE ENDING, she'll start to believe that it's the ONLY ending there is). The KEY is for women not to believe the HYPE and (even in the midst of BULLSHIT) having faith that they will be introduced to someone who WILL provide them with the fairytale ending. If you DON' T believe, you are liable to block your OWN blessing from being "produced".
ReplyDeleteSecond of all, I think those thinking about or preparing for the "fairytale" need to SERIOUSLY consider EVERYTHING about the "EVER AFTER" before getting married! I'm sorry... but it's not JUST about LOVE (although this is a VERY important aspect of it)!!! It's about TRULY wanting to spend the REST of your days breathing (and thereafter) with this person... it's about ACCEPTING another person (flaws and all) and STILL realizing that there's no one you'd rather wake up to every morning for the rest of your life... it's about being WILLING to fight for your "storyline" when "CO-STARS, EXTRAS and the SET OF LIFE" test you and try you out... it's about REALLY wanting and being ready to CLEAVE to another!!! In this day and age, people are getting married simply because a person makes them "feel good" and they're living "in the moment" of love instead of giving themselves (AND their relationships) the opportunity to grow and develop before they walk down the aisle. People are QUICK to "bite the apple" and "plant seeds" these days, but aren't as quick to INVEST in the TIME and WORK it takes to truly BECOME the fairy tale.
So with all the being said... YES I believe in the fairytale (in spite of life's circumstances) and I'm "being still" and allowing the Lord to work on ME so that if and when HE is ready for me to have it, he shall REVEAL HIM and HIS PLAN for us!!! When I DO get it, I want it to be the ONLY story I'm a character in for the rest of my life, so I PRAY that I am ready in mind, body and spirit and that I'm able to RECOGNIZE the blessing when it's presented to me.
you already know my answer lol
ReplyDeleteMen are very faithful and fairy tales do come true. There are some relationships that stand the test of time. Of course there will be rain but it takes two people being dedicated. It really is 50/50.
ReplyDeleteGood answer.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds about right.
ReplyDeleteare you over 30 ?? are you 30lbs or more overweight ?? got a kid already ? 2 of em? 3 ? you live in an apartment cramped to the hilt with clothes ? are you looking for a companion right now ?
ReplyDeleteyou think most men aint shit ?
Well then, youre "fairy tale" chances are slim as fuck.. youre going to end up settling...
but yeah i think people can have a fairytale wedding and marriage.. heh heh heh
most wont have that though ...
I believe that if you wait and have the right conversations before getting involved, making sure that you have the same life goals, beliefs, etc., that you can have a relationship/marriage that will pass the test of time. Too many people are jumping into things, settling, afraid of being alone, wondering why things are not working out. First make sure you're happy alone. It takes two whole people to make a whole relationship. And you CAN NOT fix somebody!
ReplyDeletespeaking as a happily married woman (only workin on three years, but still): there is no such thing as a fairlytale marriage, because fairytail implies perfection and unrealistic expectations. its those expectations that land folk in divorce court because their expectations were crushed (in some cases) and they didn't know how to handle the "for worse" part.
ReplyDeleteyou can't expect any relationship or marriage to be void of the bad stuff, issues, and sometimes even pain - but its how you come thru it, regroup & rise above it that separates the folks who have been married 50years from the ones that won't even make it to 2 years.
somedays I wake up and wonder why I got married - then I remember I wanted a partner and companion in life for the longhaul. we may not always get along, see eye to eeye...and hell somedays I wish he would just disappear...but when it comes down to it - I'd rather fight the good fight with him...than have a "perfect" life with anyone else. he's my betterhalf...for sure.
Why can't it simply be a choice to do what is best for oneself? Why does it have to be about "creating excuses for failure"
ReplyDeleteI would rather wear the bitter label and remain alone before settling for some more bullshit. I can do bad by my gotdamnself.
I believe you can have a happy, healthy marriage where both people are truly dedicated to each other. I see this in my church. To me, the fairytale comes in where someone goes in thinking they will NEVER have an problems. That's only fooling yourself. You will have trials and tribulations, but you can rise above them TOGETHER. Also, I sincerely feel that when you have God at the head of your household, you can make it through any trial that comes your way and you marriage can be very healthy and prosperous. I know marriage won't be easy, but once you are with the RIGHT person, its definitely worth it.
ReplyDeleteSee, I didn't even include you in this "most people". I suppose because I know your take on this...
ReplyDelete34 and fat... and i live at home but will eventually live in a probably over cramped with stuff type apartment. But I will still be happy when I find the right man, because I believe that patience is a virtue and God delivers BIG, but in His time... So HAKUNA MATATTA LOL
ReplyDeletewell said. compatibility...and wanting the same things in life/relationship make a big difference.
ReplyDeleteand the last thing you said "Those are the people that are not going to get their happily ever after, the ones to busy fixing someone.". True that - and when I finally realized that - when I came to the conclusion that my husbands issues were his, and I had my own to work on...we got along alot better...More specifially me feeling I had to hold him to a higher expectation than I held myself. Expecting him to be perfect and do everything right when I was constantly on his @$$ about one thing or another...and not acting like the wife I always promised I would be - understanding & supportive & loving...
When I accepted him in his imperfections after realizing how easily he excepted me and mine, we finally got to our very own "happy space", and haven't looked back...
Amen & Amen.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what the hell to think anymore. I have accepted the fact that I may be single for the rest of my life and I am fine with it. Thats all I pretty much got. My life has never been a fairytale nor will it ever be. I am not bitter or mad about it, I have just accepted it for what it is.
ReplyDeletefairytales are what you read to little children to help them sleep..
ReplyDeleteim not going to tell grownups they will have a faritytale wedding and marriage..
why would a grown woman be longing for that ?
I'm sure both men and women would want a fairytale marriage if it were possible. Now whether they really believe it will happen is where the issues lie.
ReplyDeleteThe idiot that said these words to me said them because he had his own agenda and my thinking for myself wasn't on it. When things didn't go his way he'd pick arguments and when I mentioned that a relationship wasn't supposed to be tumultous as ours was, that's when he told me I was looking for the fairytale.
The reality of it is that I wasn't and never have thought there was a perfect marriage, I know there are things and people that make it an uphill battle. Those words always stuck with me and I wanted your (as in everyone's) opinion on those very words.
You already know my answer.
ReplyDeleteA man who is really in love WANTS to give his woman the fairytale, to the extent that he can.
ReplyDeleteI mean, we all need to go into relationships with realistic expectations. There will be issues, there will be clashes...but there are a lot of men out there who would love to make a good woman happy.
I don't know who the idiot was (I might could guess) but you are better off, because the foolio is writing his own bad ending with that mess. He's going to end up alone, or in a really bad relationship...mark my words. Those are the words of a game player, and you don't need any part of that.
After being accused of being a serial bride...( my Brothers say I don't date...I marry )...I just have to say...It is what you make it...depending on the expectations of each partner and their ability to see these idealistic... postures... to fruition...MASALA
ReplyDeleteWell, I don't believe anything is as easy as a fairytale, but I do believe in that happily ever after with a little work and perseverance. I've seen that with my folks.
ReplyDeleteNo, it ain't Tony...
ReplyDeleteNo you don't know him.
ReplyDeleteI had a fairy tale beginning when I first met my husband some 13 years ago. He did (and still does) everything right concerning me and making me happy. I think the challenges that we have experienced in terms of keeping the relationship has to do with expectations. They have to be aligned with your partner in order for things to work, or else you are headed for disaster. Luckily for me, I know that I'm responsible for my own happiness and waiting on someone to pour fairy dust over my circumstances is me living in a fantasy world.
ReplyDeleteThe good news is we are constantly growing and changing, and the picture of marriage we have now is slightly altered after saying I do. The best news is that I feel our love has and will continue to endure, because we have been tested by the fire. We have gone through the highs and lows, good and bad, and keep coming out unscathed. I'm thankful that there's no pressure for me to be this perfect bride, nor for him to be the perfect groom. We are who we are, and are content in that.
Dam every-time I go somewhere that chick follows anyway I believe that marriage can be a fairytale. But in life everything is what you make it. I think in order to have something productive you have to put forth the effort. More important while you are in the relationship you have to except the responsibility for what you contribute to it. When most relationship fail MOST tend to say well that person did this or they didn't do that, but don't take or hold accountability for the part they played. And the majority of the time its those people that speak I'll of marriage and relationships. Those are the people that get married 3 times and say I am going to find the right one and make it work LOL!!
ReplyDeleteUmmm... hush boy, I was here FIRST!
ReplyDeleteThere is no such thing as a fairy tale marriage, but there is a such thing as a good one. Problem is a lot of people aren't willing to put in the work it takes to make one. But if both people are on the same accord and BOTH willing to put in all the work that is required it is indeed possible.
ReplyDeleteWell said bigdaddy!!!
ReplyDeleteIm livng the reality of the dream. Our marriage is the bomb from wedding to present day. We continue to grow as one and keep God in our lives daily.
ReplyDeleteMy parents will be celebrating there 45 Wedding Anniversary This Christmas Eve
That is the type of marriage I am working towards. 3 years isn't long, but we gotta start somewhere...and everything you said, is the stuff that solid, long-term...even lifelong marriage are made of. You "get" it, and it's beautiful.
ReplyDelete"We are who we are, and are content in that."
PREACH!