I'm laying in the bed watching a movie the other night and out of the corner of my eye I see some movement on the ceiling. 
It's a damn spider and not a small one at that. I hit the ground running and get my broom. 
I'm pissed because even though it was a cheap one, it was good before my son broke it in half (punk). I take my half broom (bottom half) and hit the spider. It "floats" down by its web. I catch it on the bristles (does a broom have bristles?) and fly to the bathroom to dump it in the toilet to flush. 
Except when I get there, no spider. 
I don't know where that bitch went, but I never did find it. I couldn't sleep at all and I laid back in the bed with the light on wondering...
What Would Silky do? 
And Honey...
And TNP...
I went home and was chillaxin in the bed again ALONE and that beyotch was suddenly on the ceiling again. Well I had my youngest son go get the Raid and I must have gremlins in my house because "Not Me" and "Ida Know" had somehow misplaced the spray nozzle thingy. 
Pissed as I was, I had a broken pool cue in one hand that half broom in the other and between the two, I knocked that sucka to the ground and beat it with a WHOLE SUNDAY PAPER!! LMAOOOOOO 
I then next picked up, well made it stick to the paper and I proceeded to take it outside crumpled, smashed, squished, etc. and tossed that joker onto the sidewalk so by tomorrow morning he'll either be dinner for the ants or breakfast for a bird! 
I'd go sleep outside in the car
ReplyDeleteHow big was it?
ReplyDeleteIs that it on your leg?
ReplyDeleteOh it wasn't Texas or Atlanta proportions, but ya'll KNOW I don't do the creepy crawlies!
ReplyDeleteI don't know, bite it and see.
ReplyDeleteThe spider or the leg?
ReplyDeleteUh, get the can of Raid...and annihilate that bastard!!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how we connect our life's moments with folks we know on here. I couldn't help put think of my girl Lisa when I jacked up my eyebrows with a razor!
ReplyDeleteYou too! I have one of those stories too!
ReplyDeleteman i just knew at some point in this blog you were laying in bed with somebody from multiply. your title mislead me..
ReplyDeletelol
Time for a new blog Deedles. *booty smack*
ReplyDeleteAt least you didn't squeal...
ReplyDeleteThe spiders here are not really big actually. Usually if I end up squishing it with a shoe or magazine. I'm tall enough to reach. LOL
ReplyDeleteANTE UP!!!
ReplyDeleteGUN BUTT THAT FOOL!!!!
I told you yesterday what I would have done... poured myself an ice cold Diet Pepsi... perched my fat ass on the couch with the lights on BLAST, and got my sip on as I was blogging it, and then returned to the couch for the first of SEVERAL sleepless nights...
ReplyDeletehttp://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-wxH7USkhd6dEQjA8bW9OoL8toAdNqdsmXJDSB7t1tw--?cq=1&p=1844
It's a true story.
L
ReplyDeleteM
A
O
!!!!
Man! I told Tony that I sure wished he was there cuz I couldn't reach my ceiling if someone offered me money!
ReplyDeleteI dont understand
ReplyDeleteIm just joking.. before yall pounce all over me... sheeeeesh
ReplyDeleteNow that is extreme! LOL
ReplyDeleteOh you know if it reappeared... I'd hafta grab the Lemon Pledge and Fantastik and get ta battling!
ReplyDeleteIf it didn't, I might have to pack my pillow and go sleep at my neighbor's (aka the Ex's) house...
And don't be making fun of me Deedles... LOL!
does that really work?
ReplyDelete(it would smell better than RAID)
He might not die, but he'll be clean as the Board of Health! LOL
ReplyDeleteThat's a joke... LOL! Remember the blog I wrote about seeing a scorpion at a friend's party? I talked about when I first moved to TX... there was a freakin' tarantula in my bathroom. I didn't have any bug spray, so I grabbed what I had (the Pledge & Fantastik) and sprayed the hell out of it... then made my ex come over and get it.
ReplyDeleteI keep the Raid on hand these days... especially for the killer Texas ants...
I have some stuff that I got from Home Depot that I spray on my baseboards every few weeks... plus I do boric acid in the kitchen and stuff... I gotta deal with a few creepies since I live in a rowhouse and I think the properties to both sides are vacant... *shrug* What are ya gonna do.
ReplyDeleteLMAO sounds like me. Grabbing whatever is on hand. Like when I used Raid to kill a lizard. Hey, whatever works!
ReplyDeleteI'd have to let his big ass have the room!
ReplyDeleteYou have my sympathies, I know had it been me... just as sure I would have awaken in the morning to find that d*mn spider hovering my face like "whaddup biotch"...
ReplyDelete*shudders at the thought*
Gurl..i would've got some Raid Roach Spray and spray all around my bed..probably suffocate..LOLOLOL But who cares..Charlotte the ugly spider won't bite me...
ReplyDeleteLOL!! Same here!!
ReplyDeleteAWWW HELL NAW!!
ReplyDeleteThat would of freaked me OUT!
IGNANT! ROFLMAO!!
ReplyDeletegirl i killed a big ole bee with a half a can of raid yesterday... my bf laughed at me cuz i killed it but wouldnt touch it to dispose of it... i would sleep with a can of raid and the covers cocooned around me...
ReplyDeleteCause of the stuff I spray on my baseboard, usually all I find is "dead soldiers" ... and I SCREAM for Darryl to collect/remove the carcasses... it's SO not a game.
ReplyDeleteRippa and Erin, ya'll just nassy! Like I would blog about bein' in bed with someone!
ReplyDeleteSHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYIT why not? we tell the rest of our business around here!
ReplyDelete*whistling*
ReplyDeleteOK ladies, we're new age women & doing it for ourselves. We cannot let the itsy bitsy spider have us shaking in our designer shoes!
ReplyDeleteWOman up! LMAO
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I have no problems screaming down the freeway at 100+ mph. However, I am NOT fucking with dead... well.. you know what I'm talking about.
ReplyDeleteI, A 34 YR OLD CHICKEN... would scream DADDY KILL IT!!! my dad is still my spider killer!
ReplyDeleteI don't do it because years ago I had a backstabbing bitch posing as a friend go behind my back to get to my man before. From that point on, that's one thing I just don't talk indepth about.
ReplyDeleteFair enough...
ReplyDeleteI'mma reserve the rest of what I'm thinking cause it's not very nice.
You can send a PM if you like...and don't worry, he got his due too.
ReplyDeleteYou would after I got done with you. *devilish grin*
ReplyDeleteWhat about lizards?
ReplyDeleteI dunno.... are we talking gekko or iguana-zilla?
ReplyDeleteI thought spiders and lizards ate everything else...
ReplyDeleteThey have salamanders out your way.
ReplyDeleteWell... I hope I don't see any cuz my ass will be heard screaming like lil bitch all over my street!
ReplyDeletesalamanders are CUTE!!!!
ReplyDeletecute or not I am a CHICKEN!
ReplyDeleteSo I can call you Marcy from now on?
ReplyDeleteI am a CHICKEN! and not ashamed to admit it
ReplyDeletedamn.... you beat a lil ol' spider to DEATH?????
ReplyDeletesmdh & lmhyao!
LOL She better than me! I'da been cryin! I killed a spider yesterday but only cuz my pops wasnt home and I DID scream!
ReplyDeleteLMAO! I didn't think you would, but the way it started out and the title....! LMAO!
ReplyDeletewuss
ReplyDeleteshe already admitted that, you're not saying anything she doesn't already know hehe
ReplyDeleteYou know, I don't get many bugs in my apt., but a few months ago, I was taking a bath and a cockroach actually crawled out of a crack in the wall and fell in the tub! eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww *shudders at the memory* You better believe EVERY time I get in the tub now I check to make sure there are no bugs. apt. management won't fix the crack
ReplyDeleteShe's afraid of more than spiders. *wink*
ReplyDeletefear is what YOU call it...
ReplyDeleteTomorrow 9am. Be there of forever hold your piece.
ReplyDelete@ 9am i will be sleeping. sowwy
ReplyDeleteGet some of that spray in foam from Home Depot... and some boric acid powder.
ReplyDelete**shudders ... havent had that happen since I was in Brooklyn for a summer -- but a few dead ones turn up here and there where I live now**
Won't stop me.
ReplyDeletewell, I just jumped outta the tub, pulled the plug, and bye-bye he went down the drain LOL But yeah, after reading this blog and an email I got about a nasty type of spider that likes to hide in dark places like the attic and cellar, etc., I think I'll be getting me some raid and stuff just in case!
ReplyDeleteNot sure of your chemical sensitivities but Raid and Combat I believe both have roach control gel, you put it where the ... uhhh.. uhhh.... you know the trim at the floor... BASEBOARD.. duh.. meets the wall... in places where you've seen the bugs.
ReplyDeleteOnly place I've seen them is coming out of the crack above my tub! LOL. Thanks for the info though, I'll look into that.
ReplyDeleteROFL!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's gonna be the most lemony and clean spider ever!!!
Does anyone know if those PLUG-IN sound things to get rid of bugs and rodents work? I've seen a few commercials about them and always wondered if they were worth investing in.
ReplyDeleteMy mom swears by em, but my sister doesn't. I guess if you don't have anything blocking any of the airwaves it's good...
ReplyDeleteOkay why did all of you pop in my mind while I was on vacation? I will return to finish later I have to run. LOL
ReplyDeleteOkay I'm back.
ReplyDeleteSo what happened the day after this topic was posted I'm sitting on my futon in the living room, got my blankets covering me like always, and I kept swearing I saw something move on my blanket. So at one point I'm trying to straighten out the blanket and I flick it. Why did this spider fly off it and end up on my floor!!! This sucker was HUGE!! I was like dang Icon jinxed me!!! LOL
But that spider got in a position like it was going to head right back to my futon. I got up and beat the legs off that sucker with my shoe. LOL
TNP spider slayer!!!!
Sister Slayers Unite!
ReplyDelete