Kids Say The Darndest Things - A 360 Repost

Everyone who has kids or even spends time around kids has at least one story.  It doesn’t matter how old or young, how recent or how long ago, there’s a story.

Whether it’s about you, your kids or someone else’s, you have to agree; they say and do the darndest things.  Here are a few of mine...

Dee

 Elementary school, before my nerdy years, I was a normal child, mischievous at times...

I believe it was 2nd or 3rd grade and the school I attended at that time was surrounded by nature trails.  The furthest southern part of the schoolyard was a baseball diamond that held water when it rained.

A girl I was friends with, who was a few years older than me expressed a desire to go home that day, as did I.  

SOOOOO, we staged a mud wrestling match of sorts between the two of us (which was actually each of us helping the other get dirty enough to get sent home) and when it was all over I had mud from my shirt to the bottom of my socks!

Somewhere there’s a picture of it.  I don’t even remember getting in trouble because I think we each said that one of us got pushed and the other was helping the pushed one out.   We still laugh at this today.

Ant

This is my accident prone child.   Don’t believe me? A friend recently gave him the nickname AP because of it.

He’s the cause of many trips the ER.

He has...gashed his knee on a broken down swing set, got a concussion and a broken ankle during a game of FLAG FOOTBALL, refractured the ankle a couple of years later playing with his brother and cousin, got hit in the forehead with an aluminum bat (his brother slammed it on the ground and in ricocheted and busted his head), he somehow and don’t ask how, clipped a keychain to his eyelid and most recently accidentally closed part of his face in his locker.

DON’T ASK!!!  I don’t anymore and if it results in an ER visit, I make him explain, lol.

He’s also a ham though. I remember one Christmas and I think he was either 4 or 5, but unbeknownst to me,  he told every person who asked him, that he wanted black jeans for Christmas. He must’ve gotten about 12 pair of black jeans that year, lol.

One evening we were at my mother’s with some friends of the family and he had on this shirt that was so tight, I don’t think there was any way he could breathe well,  some black jeans and these cowboy boots with a gold toe that he wore everywhere.

Someone put on The Best of James Brown and this little dude lost his mind. For about 3 songs he shuffled and scooted and screamed Hey Hey Heyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! All over the living room!

We still talk about THAT today too! LMAO

JT

This is my more reserved child.  I made him a mama’s boy when his father died and I’ve been trying to reverse that mess ever since.

This is the one that shocks you every time because you expect Ant to do or say the crazy stuff, NOT!!!  One day when John was about 4, I overheard him telling someone a seriously fabricated story.  I couldn’t believe he had these words coming out of his mouth!  He told someone that when he was a baby he was white and had a white mom and dad.  He lived in a tall building and he choked on a pork chop.    WTH???

First of all, his dad was dark brown and ya’ll know what I look like!  We’ve never lived in a building higher than 3 floors and that’s right now and this lil negro didn’t even EAT normal food until a couple of years ago!

Of course I asked him about it and he repeated the story to anyone who would listen.  We were at his paternal grandparent’s house one day and I was telling his grandmother the story when he walked in the room.  I told him to tell his grandma about when he was a white baby.  Do you know he looked at her, looked at me and said “I’m brown now”.  And walked out of the room?!?!?!  

Fast forward a couple of years to coach pitch baseball.  This is a step up from tee ball and the kids are encouraged to wear a cup.   So after finding the right size and getting all the other things he needed for his first game, the day arrives.   I’d shown him how to put everything on and in what order and left him to get dressed on his own.   He yells to me that he’s dressed and ready and I say ok.

My bedroom is at the end of the main hallway and I can see the front door from my bedroom door.

I walk out the door to see him banging the door (well, humping it actually and HARD) .  I scream WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?! He calmly turns around and says testing out the cup.  Yep, it works, that didn’t hurt.   

When you have stuff like this in your memory bank, it’s sometimes hard to stay mad at them.

What stories do you have?