I often think about Starrdust and her impending Mommyhood and I remember the things that no one told me I'd experience and I'd probably ought to warn her about like:
Some baby girls have NO hair til about 2...but they might have pubic hair (THAT freaked me out)
There will come a time where you'll actually run TOWARD a child about to toss his/her cookies and you WILL attempt to catch what you can to avoid having to clean the carpet.
Sometimes a mother chooses to nurse and somehow their baby is allergic to their milk.
If your baby eats too much, projectile vomiting can cause them to literally throw up across the room ala Exorcist style.
One little smile can create a flood of neverending tears.
Sometimes when your baby suddenly unlatches from your nipple, he/she can get squirted in the face because the milk is still flowing.
If Daddy is being a smartass while baby is nursing, your other boobie can be used like a super soaker! LOL
Mommyhood is a WONDERFUL place, but it has some strange happenings. Care to let her in on some of yours?
If by chance you birth a boy child always have a cloth diaper handy to cover up that lil willie, otherwise you will get peed on.
ReplyDeleteLetting granny feel your baby from her blender almost always equals several back to back diaper changes.
Bath time can be fun, so enjoy it
Keep a camera (even disposable) in every room.
It's hard for daddy to wait 6 weeks so sleep in a different room if you have to. You're very fertile after delivery.
Those 1st two lil teeth can be dangerous & the youngins know it.
'Specially if you're nursing!
ReplyDeleteDon't forget they can piss right in your mouth if
ReplyDeleteyour talking while changing them and they gotta go!..
It happen to me!...lol
THANKS FOR THIS, Deedles!!!
ReplyDelete@ - Some baby girls have NO hair til about 2...but they might have pubic hair (THAT freaked me out):
--- WTF????? PUBIC hair? how is that even possible????
@ Sometimes when your baby suddenly unlatches from your nipple, he/she can get squirted in the face because the milk is still flowing:
--- *LMAO*
@ If Daddy is being a smartass while baby is nursing, your other boobie can be used like a super soaker! LOL:
--- CHECK! I already told him that I won't hesitate to super soak him...or ANYONE else for that matter...ESPECIALLY family that doesn't take the hint that mama AND baby need a nap *lol*
I'm sure it has something to do with the hormones in our food. My brother was pissed because his twin girls will be 10 months on Monday and it's there!
ReplyDeleteThat happened to a babysitter we used to have, lol.
ReplyDeleteMy boys would go every time they hit the water.
Sometimes babies are born with teeth. I actually had a nephew who was born with his top two. They called them milkteeth and said they'd dissolve. They did not.
ReplyDeleteBath time is fun. Until they poop in the tub.
LOL or poop immediately after they've been bathed, diapered and clothed.
ReplyDeleteI once woke up to my baby daughter giggly baby sounds...
ReplyDeleteWhen I went into the nursery she was in the middle of creating
her own unique impressionists style masterpiece painting
with her poop on the wall next to her crib!!..lol
And after seeing Big G's latest side view, Lil G is gonna need a life jacket! :o)
ReplyDeleteok, I'm on the train riding home reading this and I just howled laughing wit tears in my eyes...
ReplyDeleteI am just a tad concerned about how much bigger my bbobs will get when milk comes in and if there is a danger of me drownig/suffocating my baby with milk &/or boob!!
*still ctfu*
sorry..meant to reply to ms. mo. damn fone!
ReplyDeleteLMAO you didn't know?
ReplyDeleteROFL..yeah, you gotta watch those baby boys...as soon as cold air hits that thing, it goes off. Talk about a super soaker!! My son's father got "baptized" the first time. I tried to warn him. I got smart after awhile, would let the air hit it, cover it back up, let him get that reflex squirt out, THEN change him. Otherwise inevitably he'd just do it in the new diaper and I'd have to change him 2x in one sitting.
ReplyDeleteLeakage happens. Nursing pads are your friends. Keep LOTS of them on hand. ESPECIALLY if your baby is not around. You hear another baby cry and your milkers will go crazy.
Don't buy any expensive blouses/tops for at least the next 2-3 years. Cheap Tee's will be it, because between your boobs leaking and your baby spitting up on your shoulder, then throwing food around once that baby food kicks in, you will be changing clothes quite often. Those little diaper pads are great for protecting your shoulders, but they don't catch everything.
Once baby starts pulling, watch the earrings, the hair, the necklaces. Those little buggers are stronger than they look.
Yes, sweetie. This is ENTIRELY possible. Although my girls had braidable hair (yes, I braided their hair in the hospital...LOL) they also were very hairy everywhere else. My oldest child's pubic hair actually started to curl and become "real" when she was 4, and her underarm hair was to the point I had to shave it at 7.
ReplyDeleteYes, my children are Big Feet. Goonie Goo Goo!
How about babies have as much hormones in them as you for a few days so your baby girl may leak "milk" from her nipples.
ReplyDeleteAnd this one, although I guess I should have known it, was a shocker to me... If for some reason you have a c-section, you will still bleed as if you gave birth the good ol fashioned way. .. Maybe this is a duhhhh thing for some, but I just wasn't even expecting it.
And this is just a tip, but DONT wake a sleeping baby to feed them... She will survive, let her sleep :)
This is SO true! After my 2nd miscarriage, I was already pregnant again by the time I went for my 6-week check up.
ReplyDelete*sigh*
As for the pubic hair... Whoah I did not know that... However, my daughter still has a faint dark line going down from her belly button, like women get when they are pregnant.
ReplyDeleteHere are some strange things I can share:
ReplyDeleteWhen the babies are stuffy, most doctors will recommend the suction thingy. My kids hated that and would seem to scream for an hour after I used it on them. So, instead, I would put a couple drops of saline solution in their nostrils to loosen the stuff up, hold one nostril down and blow in their mouth. Kinda like blowing their nose FOR them.
After each diaper change, I learned to use Vaseline on their privates and bottom to prevent diaper rash. No matter what they "did", it wouldn't stick to their skin because of the Vaseline.
I never used baby powder because I read somewhere that they could inhale it and it could cause bronchitis.
Watch out for "kissers". These are people who want to kiss your baby on her face. Lip gloss and perfumes and such can irritate the baby's skin and cause rashes. I always told folks to kiss my babies on their heads.
When and if I think of anything else, I'll definitely share.
This is something I definitely hate and don't do. i don't touch other folk's babies and I did not want strangers touching mine. if someone so much as sniffles GET THEM AWAY FROM YOUR CHILD. Some folks don't have sense to stay away from babies when they are sickly.
ReplyDeleteGood old sunshine works wonders on a small diaper rash. My son had one and my granny took him on out the porch with her while she was shucking corn. Laid him on his back, talked & entertained him & let the sun handle the rest.
ReplyDeleteI fell you on that BLKTRFLYY, i didn't hate ppl touching my baby i just didn't like it, and no one ever asked to kiss my babies lucky many did say can i hold her I'm like no i don't know you! and yes i was sometimes rude. But after reading the above i got all teary eyed, i miss my girls being babies, my lil ones are 8 and 6 and they were both breast feed, i got lucky after lol the milk was gone what i didn't have i now do, is that cuz of breast feeding or what? Honestly ladies i wonder, i never had much of anything and after i breast feed(2 yrs later POW i got boobs.
ReplyDeleteThey still give that baby smile i see them sometime still as lil ones but than lol they say something and its back to 8&6.Your making me wish I had millions of little smiling faces and lol soon i will have 1, lol SHHHHHHHh its pose to be a secret .but I'm a tell ya'll lol.TY for sharing.
*mouth falls open at Nae calling her own children Big Feet* Lawd!
ReplyDeletewow...never thought i'd be contributing to such a thread...
ReplyDeletei don't have much to add other than: even before baby gets teeth he can gum the mess out of a nipple!
and
i caught poop in my hand today to keep it from hitting the bed - and never even flinched.
ROFL..yeah, you are definitely a mom.
ReplyDeleteI am now a grandmother *thank de lawd cuz I can send him home* and was just thinking how you learn so much with your kids. When grandchildren come along, you are a pro. When they're visiting and my daughter can't get the little one to sleep, 5 minutes on Nana's chest and he's out like a light. He cracks me up when he comes to me, cause he will turn around and give his parents this look like Nah, Nana's got me. I think that little joker already knows he can get just about anything from me and he's only 13 months.
ReplyDeletewowwwwwwww *taking notes*
ReplyDeleteOnly a MOTHER could do such a thing.
ReplyDeleteSo you HAVE met my son.
ReplyDeleteYou said it before I could huh Nae?
ReplyDeleteI can't say I blame him.
ReplyDeleteLOL! What can I say? They are! In fact, I just took my 14-yr-old to get her uni-brow waxed and I swear she looks like a different child. My son's hair grows from his sideburns down under his ears and connects with the hair on his neck and it grows SO fast. This is why I went and bought professional clippers and trimmers...he hasn't been to the barber shop in about 5 or 6 years...Mommie's his barber. HMPH!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm quick like that, Gus. *sticking my tongue out at you*
ReplyDeleteI have a question for the mothers. Did anyone else have a problem with their milk drying up after deciding to stop nursing? Mine never dried up...still hasn't. I've literally been lactating since my oldest was born, almost 21 years ago.
ReplyDeleteJust curious.
For some reason the TMNT, the Power Rangers & the boy had a need for torpedoes & submarines. His nosey ass opened up a whole 48 Super Tampax and they were all floating in a tub of water. *eyeroll* That stuff ain't cheap!
ReplyDeletePlease don't let him do the Nick Ashford hairdo. He gon have enough problems being your child.
ReplyDelete*hiding Nae's straight razor*
Shut it, Unka Bobbert!!! I keep his hair cut close and shaped nicely, thank you. And he's gonna be just fine BECAUSE he's my child, you Turd! LMAO!
ReplyDelete*throwing my clippers at your forehead*
Don't act like you don't think Nick Ashford and Verdean White look drag queenish with all that hair.
ReplyDeleteOf course they do. That's why it blows me that either of them are married.
ReplyDeleteNow let's stop clowning in this woman's blog. This is supposed to be about the nuiances of new motherhood, not lion's mane hairstyles worn by old, suspect R&B has beens.
Agreed. *big ass hug*
ReplyDeleteWell, I don't have any kids, so I can't contribute much. Well, except smoking around your baby. I can't stand too see someone pat a baby on the back with one hand and smoking a cigarette in the other one. Why don't you just blow the smoke directly down their throat for them?? *sheesh*
ReplyDeleteAnother thing I don't like to see is a baby passed around like a blunt. Every body wants to hold and touch the baby. All of that is not called for. Their systems are very delicate and ERRBODY ain't clean as they like to "pretend" they are. Stop touching their hands because that's the first thing in their mouth. Don't kiss them on their face ...ESPECIALLY not on their lips. I CAN'T STAND THAT! In situations like that, I don't even want to hold the baby. I will look at them and talk to them wherever they are, but I don't want to get all up in the babies face like others do. If its just me and the mom, sure, I will hold the baby, AFTER I wash my hands.
I am just very particular about that and I have great respect for parents who say "No!" to others holding or touching their kids. Especially if you are a stranger. Sometimes, I just wonder "Where did your common sense go??"
What is that?!
ReplyDeleteMy boy will be screaming his head off and my mother will take him and he'll make the little mewling sounds like "Whew I'm glad you're here that lady was tryna KILL me!" and settle down like he was never even upset.
At first I was crushed, now I'm glad she's here. I knew Grammy would spoil him.
I am CTFU!!! Your boy sounds like mine. The stuff they come up with never ceases to amaze me.
ReplyDeleteOh, another suggestion. when the baby gets to where he/she can move around...HIDE YOUR STUFF. Anything of value. anything even semi important to you...HIDE IT. Or else it will get chewed on, soaked in juice, written on with markers, crayons etc. and pretty much all around destroyed.
<~~cosigning. Yep. Fahgedaboudit.
ReplyDeleteco-signs the co-sign..
ReplyDeleteMy daughter used to love Keys I got her a fake set of keys made that didn't open any doors. We did she hate them and wanted to play with my keyes?
still in amazement at all the real stuff no one has ever told me...im still trippin over the baby pubic hair...if Lil G comes out bald headed with a pube bush, imma be TOO THRU! lol
ReplyDeleteLOL humansupersoaker
ReplyDeleteWow I LOVE threads like these. I belong to a message board for Black mothers and I love discussing the Joys and "joys" of motherhood. Hope I dont repeat anything.
ReplyDelete1. You will more than likely feel this overwhelming sensation inside of you that builds up and restricts your chest, causes you to breathe fast, and brings tears to your eyes when it reaches its peak and that sensation is Protection. Protecting her young is probably the most essential and natural sensation a mother feels, and unfortunately chemical imbalances and diseases such as PPD alter it for some women. But the average mother thinks "beat ass now, ask questions later" when it comes to their kids. This one kid in the park was running and bumped into my baby and he fell down and it took everything I had in me not to push that kid's face into the pavement, but I did scream on him like he was mine lol
2. You will learn more about who you are what your good and bad habits are because you'll realize a kid is watching and learning from your every word and move. It is rather daunting, but enlightening. I still havent slowed on my cussing even though my son was like "shit shit shit!!"
3. When your kid falls or you drop him (every mother drops her kid, its ok) yhou will feel like you're the worst parent in the world. Until they do it like 8 times in one hour and then you realize its just what they do.
4. Errrr... pureed baby fruit taste rather good. But veggies and meat? hurrrrrrrl Try not to jack ya baby's mango banana pudding.
5. I co-sign on the poop. My son only poops in the tub when my husband bathes him. I think he sees the "look" in my eye and knows I'd bug out. But those baths are good for moving bowels. I've bathed him dried him and put him in a diaper, only to have to change him twice before bedtime lol. Constipation happens and is scary, especially when they are straining hard and have distended stomachs. My tried and true solutions for babies under 1: Karo corn syrup in their milk or gripe water. Toddlers: Gripe water, food with fiber, and no apple juice for a few days. When it gets bad, get the suppositories. I once had to oil my finger and wiggle it in his bum to get the poopie out. Hey, you do what you gotta do.
6. Eventually you stop letting their whines interrupt your groove, if ya know what I mean? ;)
I agree with the Karo syrup thing. My son had really bad gas and constipation as a baby until I got the doctor to change his milk. BTW Be tough with those pediatricians. You are with your baby 24/7. If you think something is wrong, make sure they listen to you. If need be, change doctors. I did 3 times before I got one I felt comfortable with. They have been wonderful for the last six years.
ReplyDeleteEvery mother?!?!
ReplyDeleteso glad to know that...I felt like a villian when my son slid down my leg and hit the floor.
I have two boys and I think every mother of boys will get peed on a couple of times. lol
ReplyDeleteI wish someone had told me that fathers can easily pretend to not hear babies crying. For mothers we can't do it, but fathers seem to have it down naturally. lol
ReplyDeleteAnd WHY do some people wanna kiss your baby in the mouth? I had to put a stop to that for real!
ReplyDeleteMy friend's son is sporting a 5th grade moustache complete with sideburns. I shouldn't be surprised, she had em in 5th grade too! LOL
ReplyDeleteNae...are you nursing a grown azz man? *eyebrow raised*
ReplyDeleteSeriously, mine dried up, but when my baby was 8, I was in the shower and my breasts got that tingly feeling and I was like WTH? I squeezed and out came milk.
I had it checked out at the doctor's office and found I had a lump within my milk ducts. Had a mammogram done and a biopsy proved it to be benign.
I had a mammogram every six months afterward for two years and have had no further problems.
Nick Ashford does NOT... He looks Scarrish as in Mufasa's brother, lol. Say he don't.
ReplyDeleteMy brother decided to raid my mom's purse at church for some "drum sticks" LOL
ReplyDelete"2. You will learn more about who you are what your good and bad habits are because you'll realize a kid is watching and learning from your every word and move. It is rather daunting, but enlightening. I still havent slowed on my cussing even though my son was like "shit shit shit!!""
ReplyDeleteOoh Chile, I felt so bad when my youngest (at 5) told my oldest that he didn't give a flying fuck about something!
"3. When your kid falls or you drop him (every mother drops her kid, its ok) yhou will feel like you're the worst parent in the world. Until they do it like 8 times in one hour and then you realize its just what they do."
My brother and sister were babysitting and my baby was sitting right between them and they were watching Oprah when he flipped right off the couch and just looked at them from the floor.
"4. Errrr... pureed baby fruit taste rather good. But veggies and meat? hurrrrrrrl Try not to jack ya baby's mango banana pudding."
I'll still go buy myself some baby food fruit (usually peaches or apricots) when I'm trying to watch my sweet intake.
I did the splits on ice one day, but I didn't drop him...that day.
ReplyDeletewow................
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you did this blog...this has been a ton of info to digest...but GREAT learning tools!
Did anyone one here have a pet (dog) to help get adjusted to the new baby?
All I can do is pray that the Lord blesses me with Mommyhood one day- then maybe I'll be able to chime in.
ReplyDelete*eyes open in horror!!!!!*
ReplyDeleteWhat!!!!! OMG!!!!
ReplyDelete------------------dead and stankin!!!!!----------------------
ReplyDelete