Kids Say The Darndest Things - A 360 Repost

Everyone who has kids or even spends time around kids has at least one story.  It doesn’t matter how old or young, how recent or how long ago, there’s a story.

Whether it’s about you, your kids or someone else’s, you have to agree; they say and do the darndest things.  Here are a few of mine...

Dee

 Elementary school, before my nerdy years, I was a normal child, mischievous at times...

I believe it was 2nd or 3rd grade and the school I attended at that time was surrounded by nature trails.  The furthest southern part of the schoolyard was a baseball diamond that held water when it rained.

A girl I was friends with, who was a few years older than me expressed a desire to go home that day, as did I.  

SOOOOO, we staged a mud wrestling match of sorts between the two of us (which was actually each of us helping the other get dirty enough to get sent home) and when it was all over I had mud from my shirt to the bottom of my socks!

Somewhere there’s a picture of it.  I don’t even remember getting in trouble because I think we each said that one of us got pushed and the other was helping the pushed one out.   We still laugh at this today.

Ant

This is my accident prone child.   Don’t believe me? A friend recently gave him the nickname AP because of it.

He’s the cause of many trips the ER.

He has...gashed his knee on a broken down swing set, got a concussion and a broken ankle during a game of FLAG FOOTBALL, refractured the ankle a couple of years later playing with his brother and cousin, got hit in the forehead with an aluminum bat (his brother slammed it on the ground and in ricocheted and busted his head), he somehow and don’t ask how, clipped a keychain to his eyelid and most recently accidentally closed part of his face in his locker.

DON’T ASK!!!  I don’t anymore and if it results in an ER visit, I make him explain, lol.

He’s also a ham though. I remember one Christmas and I think he was either 4 or 5, but unbeknownst to me,  he told every person who asked him, that he wanted black jeans for Christmas. He must’ve gotten about 12 pair of black jeans that year, lol.

One evening we were at my mother’s with some friends of the family and he had on this shirt that was so tight, I don’t think there was any way he could breathe well,  some black jeans and these cowboy boots with a gold toe that he wore everywhere.

Someone put on The Best of James Brown and this little dude lost his mind. For about 3 songs he shuffled and scooted and screamed Hey Hey Heyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! All over the living room!

We still talk about THAT today too! LMAO

JT

This is my more reserved child.  I made him a mama’s boy when his father died and I’ve been trying to reverse that mess ever since.

This is the one that shocks you every time because you expect Ant to do or say the crazy stuff, NOT!!!  One day when John was about 4, I overheard him telling someone a seriously fabricated story.  I couldn’t believe he had these words coming out of his mouth!  He told someone that when he was a baby he was white and had a white mom and dad.  He lived in a tall building and he choked on a pork chop.    WTH???

First of all, his dad was dark brown and ya’ll know what I look like!  We’ve never lived in a building higher than 3 floors and that’s right now and this lil negro didn’t even EAT normal food until a couple of years ago!

Of course I asked him about it and he repeated the story to anyone who would listen.  We were at his paternal grandparent’s house one day and I was telling his grandmother the story when he walked in the room.  I told him to tell his grandma about when he was a white baby.  Do you know he looked at her, looked at me and said “I’m brown now”.  And walked out of the room?!?!?!  

Fast forward a couple of years to coach pitch baseball.  This is a step up from tee ball and the kids are encouraged to wear a cup.   So after finding the right size and getting all the other things he needed for his first game, the day arrives.   I’d shown him how to put everything on and in what order and left him to get dressed on his own.   He yells to me that he’s dressed and ready and I say ok.

My bedroom is at the end of the main hallway and I can see the front door from my bedroom door.

I walk out the door to see him banging the door (well, humping it actually and HARD) .  I scream WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?! He calmly turns around and says testing out the cup.  Yep, it works, that didn’t hurt.   

When you have stuff like this in your memory bank, it’s sometimes hard to stay mad at them.

What stories do you have?

A Likely Story...

Tropical Treasure pits our clever heroine, Buttery  Deedles, against our witty hero, Rob  Williams, in the reality TV game show, TreasureQuest!

 

Sit back and relax as we take you to the magnificent tropical island of St. Isabelle...

*********************************

Buttery and Rob meet and the games begin!

"You realize it's first come, first served, right?"

Buttery Deedles turned away from the open window. She'd thought she was alone in the cottage, the first of the TreasureQuest contestants to arrive from the mainland. But one look at the man standing in the doorway changed that impression.

     He was striking, with dark brown hair that highlighted his shining brown eyes. And he was wearing nothing but a towel.

     Buttery blinked her hazel eyes. She couldn't help but be taken aback, not only by his sudden appearance, but by the fact that he was so at ease with being practically naked in front of a stranger. Not that he had any reason to be ashamed of his looks, or the way the water dripped from his damp, dark brown hair down to his shoulders and chest...

     Whoa, girl, get a grip, Buttery told herself in annoyance. You've got three weeks on a tropical island. Start drooling after every half-naked guy you see, and you'll lose track of the whole reason you're playing this game. Then again, maybe that was the point of this man's scantily-clad appearance - to throw her off balance right from the start.

  Buttery clasped her suitcase handle tightly, smiling at the stranger. "I know it's first come, first served. That's why I'm here early. Wanted to grab the best view." She held out her free hand. "I'm Buttery Deedles by the way."

     The man reached over to shake her hand, his own warm and strong. "Rob Williams. It's good to meet you, but you missed my point. I'm afraid this room's taken already," he added, as if the proprietary way he was leaning against the doorframe wasn't making that clear enough.

     Buttery couldn't help but notice that his lips were curled into a one-sided smile, somehow merging self-deprecation and arrogance into one charming package. Buttery felt a faint irritation warming her face. Great, another guy who thinks women exist to find him attractive. "I hadn't noticed. And look Towel Boy, if your things aren't here, how do I know you claimed this room first?"...

**********************************

Buttery receives a simple TreasureQuest clue 

Buttery looked down and read the TreasureQuest riddle aloud.

          Many challenges you have faced
          The prize still lies ahead
          But first, Buttery, meet your destiny
          Return to that which you dread

Frowning, Buttery glanced up at Rob. "That's it? That's the only hint I get?"

     "Yes. I'm surprised you didn't figure it out immediately. I'd thought it was crystal clear."
     "Return to that which I dread," she murmured, not liking the sound of whatever it meant.

And then it hit her like a ton of bricks. "The rope bridge. I have to cross Pont Purgatoire."

     Rob sarcastically patted her shoulders like a proud pet owner. "Now that's why you're in first place. It's the challenge you abandoned earlier this week. Who would've thought they'd send you back?"

     "A girl can dream, can't she?" Buttery joked, although her stomach had suddenly become queasy as she felt panic settle in.  "This may be the easiest word puzzle, but the challenge is far from simple..."

***********************************

Buttery , Rob and a TreasureQuest broadcast

Clive Patterson flashed his brilliant white teeth towards the television camera and began.

"Spiders and sand crabs and snakes, oh my! It's been some week for our gang here on St. Isabelle, hasn't it? Ready to hear what the audience response has been to our offshore antics?" The TreasureQuest host turned and presented a far-less-toothy smile to his contestants. The television cameras followed Clive's every move, and the large television monitor in the corner gave a colorful display of what the viewers at home were experiencing.

     "We're waiting with bated breath," Rob sarcastically piped back from across the room

     Clive laughed. "You may be cynical, but it appears the viewers aren't. Rob, how are you doing over there? Things are going well for you, aren't they? And the polls are pretty supportive of you and Buttery."

     Rob had been caught off-guard, and he shifted his position on the sofa between Buttery and Giselle. "I'm doing all right, but what's this about a poll?" Rob shifted uncomfortably again.

"We conducted a poll on the TQ website asking everyone to predict when you two will consummate your affair." Clive was on a roll. "We've all seen the chemistry between you and Buttery. Some of the emails we've received are rooting for you guys... others aren't quite as supportive."

    Buttery frowned, tucking her brown hair behind her ears in nervous irritation. She was now suddenly aware that her friendship with Rob might be cause for some...  misunderstanding.

     Without missing a beat Clive turned and was again talking to the cameras. "And Buttery has received raves from both our men and women viewers for being the best friend and most desirable girlfriend. We've received a lot of emails and love poems from some incurably romantic guys."

Buttery covered her mouth, blushing but feeling flattered. 

     Clive continued. "Also, there's a lot of media buzz about Giselle. Screenshots of her have become extremely popular downloads from the TreasureQuest website."

     Giselle smiled and crossed her legs. "Sorry Buttery," she said with a laugh, leaning back in her chair, she stared into the camera with a come-hither smile. "Screen-grab this, guys."

     Clive grinned then proceeded. "It's kind of a mixed bag, though, Giselle. I'm afraid you're also the player that the audience most wants used as shark bait."

Rob couldn't hold back a bark of laughter. Giselle, however, pretended to be indignant.

     "That is so unfair," she said vehemently. 

     "Absolutely, but consider yourself lucky," Buttery said, peering around at the other contestant, "sharks won't eat one of their own..."

****************************************

Buttery and Rob in the heat of competition

It was a cliché to feel a shock at his touch, but Buttery couldn't help the tremor that ran through her. His hand was strong and warm, and his brown eyes were so steadying, so electric with life and intelligence.

Buttery suddenly couldn't catch her breath, feeling her heart race at his nearness, she found herself dearly wanting to hold him even tighter.

     Rob bent down to her, lightly brushing her lips with his own, a teasing gesture that seemed like an invitation. Buttery surprised herself by responding without thinking or doubting whatsoever. She closed her eyes and leaned into him, seeking his mouth with a hunger she hadn't anticipated. As she kissed him, she felt him smiling beneath her. He's surprised too, she thought in amusement.

     Rob pressed forward, keeping pace with her own growing fervor, and moved his hands to the back of her head, entwining her silky brown hair with his fingers. Buttery opened her hazel eyes, almost sleepy with longing, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

     But when she leaned into his body, she was brought up short at the sight of the cameraman, his lens trained on the two of them like a leering peeping tom...

http://www.bookbyyou.com/RBYDemo/ttdemo-conf.asp

Just Curious: Did You Name It?

Some folks have named their ummm genitalia.  Why?  I'll never know.  I have come across some wild ones though.  The funniest to me being Rollo....

I've found that more men name their penises than women name their vajayjays.

Why fellas?  Have you named yours?  Share with me.

**for the record, I have NOT named her**

I'm In a Funk...

Can't really describe it. Kinda don't want to. I'm in a funk ya'll.

I'm lurking everywhere today. I left my mark in a couple of spots, but I'm mostly reading, then jetting. And?

I know part of it is because I'm tired from the weekend, not that my life is so exciting, but I did a bit of driving and I suppose that drained me. Whatever.

I spent some time in Missouri with cousins I haven't seen for awhile.

It was kinda bittersweet in that almost everyone my age is married *sigh*, (I'm not going into a full "woe is me" kick, so bear with me) just not married to the same people they were married to the last time I saw them. *Geez God, what is the hold up?*

I can honestly say that I've done a better job as a single parent than some of them have, raising their children in a complete family *somma dem damn kids are BAAAAAAAAAD!!!*

I guess I'll be over my moment by the afternoon...thanks for lending me your ears, well, eyes.

Good Black Men: A Father's Day Tribute

Good Black Men are indeed all around us.
We pass them on the streets, in the malls, and the halls at work.
Most we can’t see because we don’t know what a good man really looks like.
He usually isn’t flashy enough or rich enough to turn our heads.

He might not wear a suit or push a Lexus.
He might not have a body like Tyson with a Denzel face.
But, as you mature, you realize it’s better to find someone who’s got your back
rather than someone who turns your head.

A good man doesn’t agree wholeheartedly with everything you say.
He doesn’t just tell you what you want to hear and do the opposite.
He doesn’t declare how sensitive, sweet, caring, sincere, etc. he is
(he won’t have to because it shows).

He has his own opinions and yours may clash,
but he doesn’t have to degrade you to prove he’s right.
He even admits at times to being wrong, especially if you are willing to do the same.

A good man is not going to meet every item on your checklist.
He is human with frailties and faults mixed in with all of his wonderful, strong attributes.
He needs your love and respect.
He needs to feel that you don’t live to catch him doing something wrong so you can declare, “Aha! I knew you were a dog!”

A good man isn’t insecure about his woman having great achievements.
In fact, he is her number one supporter and becomes disappointed with her
when she begins to lose herself, especially for the sake of not hurting his feelings,
or only wanting to make him happy.

His happiness comes with seeing her excel in her dreams and accomplishing her goals.
For as she excels and is exalted,
a good woman will bring her good man right along with her.

A good man doesn’t necessarily give you a huge birthday or Valentine’s gift.
He shows his love in the ways that are comfortable to him.
Don’t judge him by TV standards.
No one is really living a fairy tale.
You’ll miss out on your own fairy tale by buying into the myth that our men are no good.
It’s just not true.

 

A good black man is a man of his word.
He says what he means and means what he says.
His word is his bond.
He never leaves you wondering if he is going to call or show up - he is dependable.
A good black man has a love and a heart for God.
As his relationship and love with and for God grows
so will his relationship and love with and for you grow…

Our beautiful black men we salute you,
appreciate you and thank you for who you are
and all you’ve done.

Pass this along to some of the Good Black Men you know
and a few women that need to read it …
So that they can recognize a good black man.

 

Author Unknown, but fully appreciated

Happy Father's Day!!!

The Friday 4-1-1

The 4-1-1

Will R Kelly go down? Will he be found guilty in his child pornography trial? We are awaiting the outcome and the jury verdicts. Kelly was accused of having sex and videotaping his antics with a young teen girl. Kelly says it's not him on the tape. The alleged victim says it's not her.

Actress Lisa Raye McCoy Missick has had enough. After months of embarrassment and scandal, she is ready to throw in the towel on her marriage to the Prime Minister of the Turks and Caicos Islands. Even though he proclaimed his innocence in a recent sex scandal, just knowing that he cheated on her and participated in wild parties while she was away was enough to make Lisa say I Don't Need This Nonsense. The marriage started out as a fairytale. The wedding ceremony was spectacular, but the nightmare started for the couple soon after. For months, she has kept a stiff upper lip and tried to go on with her life, but she feels as though the prime minister humiliated her. How can she keep up the façade and go on with a charade of a marriage?

Is Evander Holyfield broke? He says no, but court records and the baby mammas say otherwise. His $10 million home in Georgia is facing foreclosure and some of his baby mammas were told not to look for any money in May or June. Holyfield is trying some new business ventures to get back on track. In his prime, he made millions boxing, and he made thousands for appearing on Dancing With The Stars. Where did his money go?

Singer Keyshia Cole is also having money problems. Her manager was recently caught writing bad checks setting Keyshia back $100,000.

50 Cent and the burned down home? A judge recently ruled that the rapper cannot sell the home. If he collects any insurance money, he must turn it over to a trust fund. The rapper's $2 million Long Island home burned to the ground last week. His baby momma, their ten-year old son, her boyfriend and another child were in the home at the time of the fire. Police suspect arson and the baby momma has blamed the 50 because he wanted her out of the house.

Is Queen Latifah about to make a life change? According to published reports, she is ready to marry her longtime Personal Trainer Jeanette Jenkins. The two have been close for five years, and they reside in homes on the east and west coast. Latifah has never commented on her personal life, and she has not officially come out of the closet. Is she getting married? Latifah doesn't want anything to overshadow her career. She doesn't want to be known for her sexuality. She has a lot of projects going on, including a new perfume line set to launch next year. She is also a spokesperson for Cover Girl cosmetics and Jenny Craig. She has never felt the need to go public with her private life. So, if she does get married, she will do it in private.

Janet Jackson is not happy with her record company. She feels Def Jam Records has let her down. Jackson's boyfriend, Producer Jermaine Dupri, is one of the company's label chiefs, so you can imagine there is a lot of tension between the two. Last week, Jackson blasted the company saying that they stopped promoting her latest album Discipline. The album came out in February, and so far has only sold 392,000 copies. Jackson says she will continue to go ahead with her world tour, but she may not be able to tour Europe. Reps for Def Jam say they are disappointed as well, but they still respect and support Janet. Jackson needs to pick up the phone and call Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. She had major success with them. Let Dupri be your boyfriend, but go back to Jam and Lewis if you want a hit!

In other Jackson family news, filming has begun on the new Jackson family reality show. The show will start out with Tito and his three sons and is being filmed in England.

Bobby Brown's son Landon is following in his father's footsteps. Like his father, he likes to kiss and tell. In a recent interview, Landon bragged about sleeping with Lindsey Lohan, and how his stepmom, Whitney Houston, never liked him. Landon talked about growing up with his famous dad and their crazy life. At the moment, Bobby is getting his life together. He just signed a deal with the CMT network for a new reality show. The show, Outsiders Inn, will pair him with Actress Maureen McCormick ("Marcia" of The Brady Bunch). The show debuts August 15th, and will show them running a southern bed and breakfast.

The war of words heated up over the weekend between Directors Clint Eastwood and Spike Lee. In this corner, there's Eastwood with his World War II drama Flags Of Our Fathers. Lee says Eastwood should be ashamed for not having blacks in the movie. Eastwood responded Lee should shut his face because it was his duty to tell an accurate story. He says Lee has not liked him since Eastwood directed the movie Bird about the great Jazz Musician Charlie "Bird" Parker. Lee is currently working on his own World War II movie. Lee's movie, The Miracle Of St. Anna, will tell the story of the all black squad of The 92nd Buffalo Division. These were the men who fought the Germans in Italy during World War II. In other Spike Lee news, he says lack of funding is keeping him from starting his proposed movie about the life of James Brown. Lee is also working with Cookie and Magic Johnson on a series of public service announcements regarding HIV awareness.

Usher gave a surprising interview to Cosmopolitan magazine. He revealed he is not good at being in love, and it's hard being faithful. Does his wife Tameka have reason to worry? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Actor Darius McCrary is fighting charges that he attacked his girlfriend video vixen Karrine Steffans. Steffans claims McCrary beat her up and ran her over with his car. McCrary says these charges are not true. He describes Steffans, who goes by the nickname Superhead, as a crazed stalker who abuses her ten-year old son. McCrary is best known as "Eddie Winslow" on the TV show Family Matters. Steffans is known for her celebrity tell-alls.

Mel B is one busy bee. The Spice Girl has just signed a new deal with the Disney Channel for a TV show that could start airing later this year.

Tennis Sensation Serena Williams is gracing the cover of Ebony magazine for their annual summer's best issue.

Arsenio Hall is returning to TV. Hall will be starring in the MyNetworkTV show Funniest Moments. The show will feature clips of funny moments caught on tape. The show will air this fall.

The new season of Runs House debuts on July 15th. The new season will feature Run DMC on the road balancing a summer tour and family life.

Jennifer Lopez is coming out with a new sports clothing line. The Lopez line will feature sneakers, yoga pants and dance gear.

Get ready for the return of Irene Cara. The former star of Flashdance and Fame is coming out with a new album later this year.

Congrats to Actor Vin Diesel. He and his model girlfriend are the proud parents of a new baby.

Is an autumn wedding in the works for American Idol Winner Fantasia and Rapper Young Dro? Sources say the two are planning a small wedding for the fall.

So how did Prince celebrate his birthday? The world famous musician recently turned 50, and had a quiet celebration with two female friends.

Don't look for Actor Terrence Howard to return to Broadway. Howard is about to end his run in the Broadway revival of Cat On A Hot Tin Roof. Howard says he will never do Broadway theatre again. He says the schedule was tough, and the experience left him depressed and exhausted. He stated doing eight shows a week was like slavery.

Get well wishes go out to actress Stacey Dash. Dash was recently injured on the set of Celebrity Circus. Dash broke three ribs during a stunt.

Rodney King is coming to reality TV. In 1992, his videotaped beating by L.A. cops led to the L.A. riots. Since that incident, he has been in rehab, and has had numerous run ins with the law. King is hoping the TV route will help him. He is going to be a part of the cast VH1's Celebrity Rehab.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell is ready to be a mommy. Earlier this year, she had a surgical procedure to help her achieve her goal. Despite her reputation, temper tantrums, and violent behavior, Campbell says she has calmed down and is ready for the next chapter in her life as a mommy.

Samuel L. Jackson has signed a development deal with CBS to produce projects for the network. No word yet if he will be starring in any of the projects.

Susan L. Taylor, Editor Emeritus of Essence Magazine and founder of The National Cares Mentoring Movement will be featured in the new Lee Daniels' movie Push. The movie will also star Rocker Lenny Kravitz and Mo'Nique.

Singer Jill Scott is currently touring the country promoting her new lingerie line. The butterfly collection can be found online at http://www.ashleystewart.com. 


::::: WHAT'S THE UNDERGROUND BUZZ ::::::

This hunky Actor is featured in a new hit movie. He should be happy, but he's not because no one recognizes him. His recent plastic surgery jacked up his face.

In marriage, you often have to take the good with the bad. This Actor/Rapper is finding it hard to deal with his superstar wife. He loves the money and the spotlight, but he hates the fact that she loves to flirt with other men.

Who is this new Caribbean sensation on the block: Michelle de Barry?

Icnonlybme...a "freaky friday" repost

This was originally posted by Jah De' Poet aka Icnreadurmind on 2-1-08.  It was a total surprise. Jah has a way of doing that to you *smile*.  I just wanted to share because it's a hot ta def read, but before it was only viewable by Jah's contacts.  Thank you again Jah!

 

 

 

 

 

You need a mentor
I eat fantasies for dinner

 Indulgence for desert
Take notes

Icnonlybme

And in being me means that the writing I put on your walls
will make your sex organ
cum in verse

Screams strangling your whispers

 Icnonlybme when I place your legs so far back
they feel like they are
about to dismember

 Then give you 12 inch strokes until
your substance is tender

 Until your honeycomb creams and is covered
with my elixir

...Jusbu Jah...

Is that your body talking to me???

 I am a great listener

 ...Icnonlybme...

 when I master your womb
until it breeds beautiful attributes we form into a faction
until we become one gender
Of supernatural

 My pleasure principle
will keep you after school

 Icnonlybme by teaching you that mornings lose their youth
and mature into afternoons
then my lesson plan resumes
in an evening of labia licking in my room

 Icnonlybme when I teach you to discover crevices and places
that’s made for our eager
fingers and faces

 Our senses shivering in amazement

 My loins are raging

 Everything is going numb
below your waist

 Icnonlybme, so I came to court your oasis

 Our chemistry is formulating

Fluids will mix as if they were Gin and tonic

Icnonlybme when I ask you to saturate my tongue with your juices

 

 

Copyright © 2008 A ۞ ₪ Ŧħĕ ♂ Яebirth ♂ Θf...₪ ۞ Scribe All Rights Reserved