I used to be a person that lived by the rule that if a person hurt/crossed me once, they didn't get a chance to do it again. Because of that, I found myself isolated for years.
Then my best friend/babydaddy cheated on me. The boyfriend in him
That's a practice that's carried over. I'll still deal with a person, but their exposure to me is severely limited so as not to leave myself open to hurt. Makes sense, right?
What doesn't make sense, but I'm guilty of, is this. When I really fall in love with someone, I just can't let go that easily. When I have gotten deep in my feelings and that person has gotten past some or all the walls I like to think I've put up, I become a glutton for punishment.
I keep hoping that whatever is broken in the relationship can be fixed with love. This is a mistake that a lot of us make.
We stay in abusive relationships because someone somewhere said that love conquers all. I have to sorely disagree because love conquers alot of things, but in my experience, love doesn't conquer distrust, it doesn't conquer insecurity and often stupidity of either or both parties doesn't make the cut either.
When do you reach the point where you say "enough"? In the year of Obama, we hope for alot of things. Change. Changes don't just need to be made in the White House, some of us need change within ourselves.
I watched a friend late last year do everything she could to hold on to her marriage because she hoped. It died. Probably because she was the only one who hoped that it could be repaired.
While she was hoping and doing all that she could to hold it together, her husband was accusing her of infidelity, stealing from their household finances, skimping on their sex life (I imagine it's hard to make love to someone who doesn't even seem to like you at times).
They finally parted ways and though it's been hard, she's piecing her self-esteem and in turn, her old self back together. I think she'll eventually be ok. I'm glad for her that she was never able to carry a baby to term. I think if she had a child, she'd keep hoping and trying til the day she died. Sometimes tragedies are blessings in disguise.
What kind of person are you? Do you cut your losses immediately? Do you keep going back, thinking it could work out? Do you just stay with your s.o. and have your candy on the side? How many times do YOU say goodbye?
I thought this song was fitting for many reasons. Enjoy. I miss Luther...
